With rampant concerns about #COVID-19, many of us are #flatteningthecurve by moving face-to-face meetings into a virtual environment. Whether you’re new to the world of online meetings and telework, or you’ve been connecting with colleagues and clients online for years, follow these basic steps to keep your virtual meetings virtually flawless. (See what I did there?)

​Prepare the Tech 
It never fails. Despite conducting and hosting hundreds of virtual meetings and coaching sessions, it’s alwaysthat one busy time—when I come careening into my desk chair at the last minute to hurriedly log on for a meeting—that my computer decides to crash. (Incidentally, this is the same principle that ensures children will need to go to the bathroom 30 seconds after you pass the last rest stop for 50 miles).
 
Needless to say, thirty seconds before you’re scheduled to give your supervisor a key presentation is not the time to discover that your computer needs to install 45 minutes’ worth of critical updates, or that the Wi-Fi is spotty in your home office because your neighbor is in a Call of Duty tournament.
 
At least an hour before your first meeting of the day, ensure the necessary software (e.g., Skype, Zoom, Microsoft Teams, etc.) is installed, updated and functioning. Test the audio and video to make sure your equipment is working properly. This is especially important if you don’t teleconference often or you’re using a new platform.

Keep It Down, Kids 
Veteran virtual workers will tell you, one of the most distracting and difficult things about online meetings is that every attendee brings the disruptions of their home environment with them. [Remember that guy whose kids interrupted his big moment as an international news expert and turned it into his big moment as a viral video star?] 
 
Even when they’re not creating hilarious internet sensations, barking dogs, crying kids, garbage trucks, vacuum cleaners and landscape crews are the bane of every virtual meeting. 
 
While some of these are beyond our control, it’s nice to try to mitigate them in advance: close (and consider locking!) the office door, park the kids in front of the television or some healthier activity, put the dogs outside, etc. And don’t forget to keep your microphone on mute whenever you’re not actively speaking to keep background noises to a minimum.

Video Killed the Speakerphone Star… 
Videoconferencing can have huge advantages over conference calls, most notably the ability to share screens and the addition of body language and other non-verbal cues. These visual cues can add connectivity, personality and information to the meeting. 
 
But, listen, y’all: Video means you are visible.
 
This seems obvious enough, but you’d be surprised how many times I’ve been in virtual meetings where the participants appear to have given no thought at all to how they are presented on screen. I’m not referring to personal appearance, necessarily—see below for a marital dispute on that topic—but basic things like lighting, framing and background. 
 
I recently had a video meeting with someone whose webcam and chair were positioned such that I could only see the top-right quarter of her face (and the pictures on her office wall) for most of the conversation. We’d never met in person, so not being able to read her full facial expressions put me at a disadvantage when it came to connecting with her. It also gave the impression—whether she intended it or not—that she wasn’t terribly invested in our conversation. Eye contact is a huge nonverbal indicator of attentiveness; but your eyes do have to be on the screen for it to work.
 
So, there are a few additional considerations when using video. Before you log on to a virtual meeting, do a test run with your webcam to see what is visible in the frame. Make sure your ENTIRE FACE is visible, and that you’re comfortable with how you appear on screen; adjust the angle of your chair, phone, or computer accordingly. 

Background Check 
When you’re working at home, no one expects you to have a modern art sculpture or pristine white wall behind you. We’re all human, we all live in our houses; and everyone knows that. But do make sure you’re comfortable with what can be seen in the frame. 
 
For example, I’ve had colleagues who attended virtual meetings from a closet or even a large master bathroom because that’s where the Wi-Fi or acoustics were best, or it was the only room in the house where they could be assured their family would not disturb them. Totally fine, as long as the view doesn’t include the actual toilet, hanging lingerie or your spouse’s athlete’s foot powder. As a rule of thumb, don’t have anything in the background of your webcam that you’d be embarrassed to have on your desk in the office. And if you have either lingerie or athlete’s foot powder on your desk at the office… Well, that’s a whole different article.
 
Even when it’s not potentially mortifying, too much personal clutter in the background can be distracting in itself. Some people choose hang a curtain or solid sheet behind them for simplicity; but you needn’t go that far. Just check that things are neat, the main light source in your room is above or in front of you, especially if you’re seated in front of a window or other lighting. 
 
Personally, I like that the view from my webcam expresses a bit of who I am: my cheery yellow office wall, some artwork by my kids, bookshelves, and a totally-not-dead plant. I often get compliments on the background because it’s not what most executives are used to seeing in their own office environments. I always do a quick check before connecting make sure there are no piles of paper, empty Ramen cups or other chaos in the frame.
 
 Pro tip:  Skype even includes a background blur feature to help keep the focus on the conversation where it belongs (and so coworkers will assume all your books are smart books). With Zoom, you can get extra fancy and use a green screen to apply your own background. I mean, yes, we’re all sheltering in place from COVID-19, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look like we’re at the beach or surrounded by puppies. I think you see how quickly this can go wrong.

Get Ready for Your Closeup 
Okay, here’s where my husband and I disagree. We both spend a lot of professional time videoconferencing, so of course I asked him for his thoughts as I was preparing this article. The first words out of his mouth were, “don’t worry about how you look.”
 
And, to some extent, I see his point. The whole phenomenon of seeing yourself on screen while you’re having a business meeting is just…weird. It can be a little like trying to discuss the quarterly numbers at the mirror in the women’s restroom. You’re thinking about market fluctuations, but also dying to fix that flyaway curl, mascara smudge, or noticing that your lips look really thin in this light.  
 
What he’s saying is, “listen, no one looks good on a webcam and we’re all just focused on the meeting content so don’t worry about it.” Obviously, it’s hard to take a meeting seriously when half the participants are fiddling with their hair, adjusting their collars, or applying lipstick. Just kidding. Neither of us has been on a call with someone applying lipstick… yet. 
 
So my counterpoint to his slightly misguided point is this: DO worry about how you look, but worry about it before the meeting. Particularly if you’re new to videoconferencing or dialing in to a high stakes meeting, it’s important to feel confident in your appearance. This may sound superficial, but if the angle of your chair gives you a double chin on camera and that bothers you, fix it before the meeting. That way, you can focus on the content you’re sharing. You and your single chin can shine.
 
As for wardrobe, video meetings are usually more casual than office meetings. Sometimes people wear button-ups and blazers; sometimes hoodies are de rigueur. When in doubt, follow the lead of your supervisor and workplace culture. In general, I prefer to wear simple clothes in solid colors while on video, mostly because it’s less for me to think about. Whatever you decide, the good news is you don’t have to worry about shoes!

Share Screens, Not Germs 
If you may be expected to share your screen during a meeting (to show a document, spreadsheet, presentation, etc.), practice on the platform in advance. Some programs allow you to share only your entire screen, while others let you choose specific windows or software programs and share selectively. 
 
In either case, be sure to close any documents or programs that contain sensitive or confidential information before the call begins. This is especially critical if your call includes participants outside your organization, or if you work with personal health information covered under HIPAA.

Patience is a (Virtual) Virtue 
Online connections usually have a short delay, which means participants tend to start, stop and talk over one another. This barrier produces an increased risk people will be steamrolled or feel uncomfortable sharing. Allowing longer pauses between speakers can help address this issue. If you are the facilitator or organizer of the meeting, make sure you pause between topics, and solicit feedback directly from participants who aren’t speaking up. Bring people directly into the conversation by name whenever possible.
 
In every online meeting, there are inevitable hiccups with technology—especially as large groups new users online for the first time. Wading through small setbacks with humor and a welcoming spirit will help get productivity back online faster and maintain those critical working relationships over the long term.

Someone Must Lead 
Even if there is no reporting relationship or clear organizational lead on a call, it’s important that someone serve as the meeting’s facilitator. As with in-person meetings, virtual meetings need a clear direction (agenda) and a desired outcome (goal). With the additional layer of challenges mentioned earlier, that clarity becomes even more critical in web-based meetings. 
 
The facilitator kicks off the meeting, troubleshoots connection challenges, reminds attendees of the meeting purpose, pulls out quiet participants, and reins in the conversation when it goes too far afield. This person may also review and assign action items at the end of the call—sometimes even by creating a follow-up email or to-do list. The facilitator is often the person who originates or leads the meeting, but not always.

Think Outside the Screen 
One of the biggest losses we all face as we move from physical workspaces to virtual ones is the camaraderie that comes from passing people in the hallways and breakroom or sharing a story at the coffee maker. Relationships are no less important in the workplace today than they were a month or a decade ago; so make sure you make space for them in virtual meetings. 
 
A bit of small talk while everyone is settling in for the meeting is fine. I’ve been known to kick off an online meeting by asking everyone to raise their coffee mug or bottle and tell the group what their morning beverage of choice is. Some organizations are taking it a step farther to ensure their company culture doesn’t get lost over the VPN. Online training company Udemy, for example, is hosting virtual pet happy hours to keep employees connected on a personal level while they’re working from home. 
 
Whether you’re moving to virtual meetings as a temporary measure during the pandemic or mastering a new way of communicating for the long term, let humor and patience be your guide. Remember, the goal of this technology is connection: not just as professionals, but as human beings.
 
Manda Pullen Turetsky, MS, MBA is a multi-published author, trained psychotherapist, executive coach and corporate trainer in Roswell, Georgia. She’s hosted hundreds of virtual meetings ranging from two participants to twenty, with dogs and kids currently neck-in-neck for most interruptions.

Whether you're making resolutions for the coming year, planning the first quarter, or just looking for ways to edge out the competition for that sale or promotion... communication is a solid place to start. Strong communication is essential in every relationship (business and personal), and is a skill set you can work on in any environment. 

Here are five reasons to start the year by improving your communication skills:

1. Good communication skills are infinitely transferable. Being a better listener at home will also help you at the office, and vice versa. Practicing verbal and nonverbal communication will benefit you in your current position and any other job or organization in the future. It's an investment that pays off across the board, even if you change careers entirely.
2. Impressions matter. Whether it's a job interview, sales pitch, or that awkward meeting in which you ask your boss for a raise, communicating your value to others is essential to career growth. 
3. Build support for your ideas. Good communication lets you convey your ideas clearly and to make better connections with your audience. When you've gained respect of your colleagues, peers, supervisors and direct reports--and you utilize empathy to understand how the topic at hand impacts them--they are more likely to accept and support your agenda.
4. Help create a lower-stress workplace. When people communicate clearly and respectfully, including during conflict, there are fewer unresolved issues and negative emotions festering in the workplace. This leads to solution-oriented teams and lowers stress levels at work, which improves both mental and physical well-being.
5. Get more of what you want. It's wonderfully simple. You can't get what you want and need if you don't effectively communicate those needs to others. Assertive communication means letting others know what you want and need, and (when possible) finding collaborative or mutually beneficial ways to make that happen. 

Whatever your goals for the year, make a commitment to prioritize your communication skills and enjoy reaping the benefits at home and at work.

Many of us want to be more appropriately assertive in the way we communicate with others. But since opportunities to assert ourselves often occur in emotionally challenging situations, it can be hard to keep a clear head.

I created these 10 tips to help guide you through the process of communicating assertively, whether it's with your spouse, your boss, or the person in front of you at the grocery store. Use them like a checklist, or just skim them whenever you find yourself facing a challenging situation!

Assertive Communication Tips
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1. Clarify your goals before starting important conversations.
2. Try to narrow down to one primary issue or topic. Avoid piling on too much information or mixing multiple issues.
3. Choose the right time and place: calm, safe and private.
4. Avoid using email or text for sensitive or difficult communications.
5. Confront issues gently but firmly. State your needs clearly and simply.
6. Focus on your own feelings, using "I" statements.
7. Be open and listen. Avoid blame and judgment.
8. Use active listening to reflect back perspectives and empathize with feelings.
9. After listening, collaborate to come up with solutions. Generate options without criticizing.
10. Agree on action steps, take notes, and set a firm date to follow up.

It happens every January.
I commit to making behavioral changes - diet, exercise, writing habits, de-cluttering the house - and by the 15th of the month, I've already fallen off the wagon. I'm back to eating junk food in a pile of dirty laundry.
This year, I've had to curb those commitments to myself: I had ankle surgery in late December, so exercise, drastic diet changes, and massive closet overhauls will have to wait. Since I spent the first two weeks of the new year stuck on the couch, I've been forced into being patient with myself. I've been looking at my daily habits from afar and realizing how much time I usually spend running in circles. I've had to let others help me out, and to let go of some activities I would normally see as necessary.
I do have plans for self-improvement and better habits this year. But those plans are much more realistic and detailed than my pie-in-the-sky resolutions usually are -- you know the ones, made from emotion when you can't button your pants after all the holiday feasting or when you lose a kid for three days in your spare closet. Because I couldn't act right away, and because I couldn't make empty promises to myself on December 31, my goals feel more attainable. I have already outlined the steps for achieving them, too. (What else was I going to do with all that time on the couch?)
So if you've already become frustrated with your new year's resolutions, maybe what you need is a little patience and a new view. 

Today marks the first official day of Success Narratives, LLC!

I have to say that I'm both delighted and nervous to begin this new venture and sharing it with you. Starting something new can bring excitement and sense of foreboding. What will it look like? Who will come? Am I up to the task?

Like every great story, however, it can only start at the beginning. We have to put one word in front of another until the story begins to take shape and the characters make themselves known. If you are starting a new story in your own life--maybe a job search or a new approach to your career, perhaps a renewed commitment to improving your relationships--perhaps I can be helpful.

Reach out today and let's put one word in front of the other together!  
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For an organization, a professional writer can seem like an extravagance, particularly when you already know what you want to say. Perhaps you already have competent, articulate staff who know your products inside and out, or your technical team have already put together the basics for your user guides or customer service manual. Maybe you're even a bit of a wordsmith yourself. That's great! Those strengths will help make your partnership with a content professional even stronger.

Along with word choice, style and grammar, one of the most important assets a professional writer brings to your organization is objectivity. Being outside the organization gives me a fresh perspective on your most important messages-a perspective likely to be shared by your target audience.  

To harness a writer's objectivity AND creativity, sketch out your goals for the piece (it helps to understand how those goals fit within the organization's mission), and then make notes of the existing information that seems most relevant. A good writer can help you sift through your material, trim the excess, sharpen the key points, and polish the text until it shines.

Welcome!

I'm Manda Turetsky, the owner of Success Narratives, LLC. I'm a mom, author, trainer, counselor and coach; and after many years of adventures, I'm delighted to be bringing my wide range of skills and experiences in under one umbrella.

Beginning  in October 2018, I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts on psychology, writing and business with you. I hope you'll find my perspectives useful, and that you'll also take advantage of the many services I have on offer.

Whether I'm working one-on-one with a client, or training a room full of one hundred employees, my goal is to listen closely and customize learning and communications modalities for each client. 

​I look forward to working with you, and of course, feel free to reach out with questions!