10 Tips for Assertive Communication

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Many of us want to be more appropriately assertive in the way we communicate with others. But since opportunities to assert ourselves often occur in emotionally challenging situations, it can be hard to keep a clear head.

I created these 10 tips to help guide you through the process of communicating assertively, whether it's with your spouse, your boss, or the person in front of you at the grocery store. Use them like a checklist, or just skim them whenever you find yourself facing a challenging situation!

Assertive Communication Tips
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1. Clarify your goals before starting important conversations.
2. Try to narrow down to one primary issue or topic. Avoid piling on too much information or mixing multiple issues.
3. Choose the right time and place: calm, safe and private.
4. Avoid using email or text for sensitive or difficult communications.
5. Confront issues gently but firmly. State your needs clearly and simply.
6. Focus on your own feelings, using "I" statements.
7. Be open and listen. Avoid blame and judgment.
8. Use active listening to reflect back perspectives and empathize with feelings.
9. After listening, collaborate to come up with solutions. Generate options without criticizing.
10. Agree on action steps, take notes, and set a firm date to follow up.

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